Deep Dragon Doodoo
The first line in the blurb of the new fantasy novelette A Doctor to Dragons by G. Scott Huggins cracks me up so much I just have to post it.
Here's the blurb:
The Dark Lord's favorite dragon is constipated. Dr. James DeGrande, veterinarian and orc-slayer, is going to have to deal with it.
This one could get messy.
Everyone says it was better in the Good Old Days. Before the Dark Lord covered the land in His Second Darkness.
As far as I can tell, it wasn't that much better. Even then, everyone cheered the heroes who rode unicorns into combat against dragons, but no one ever remembered who treated the unicorns' phosphine burns afterward. Of course, that was when dragons were something to be killed. Today I have to save one. Know what fewmets are? No? Then make a sacrifice of thanks right now to whatever gods you worship, because today I have to figure a way to get them flowing back out of the Dark Lord's favorite dragon. Yeah, from the other end. And that's just my most illustrious client. I've got orcs and trolls who might eat me and dark elf barons who might sue me if their bloodhawks and chimeras don't pull through. And that doesn't even consider the possibility that the old bag with the basilisk might show up.
The only thing that's gone right this evening is finding Harriet to be my veterinary assistant. She's almost a witch, which just might save us both. If we don't get each other killed first.
G. Scott Huggins is a prolific Fantasy and Science Fiction writer. Check out his other books at his Amazon page.